2/11/2019 0 Comments DetourOrientation -> Disorientation -> Reorientation. This is the cyclical nature of the human experience and never has this pattern been so evident to me as in the fertility process of the past three years. Over and over again our circumstances change, whether by our own choice and deliberate action or through the shifting of things beyond our control. Over and over again we turn our faces toward the unknown, not knowing where the journey will take us. As the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, observed, “Change is the only constant in life.” This has been another season of disorientation, this time not on the fertility journey but on the vocational one. After months of orienting to the idea that it was time for a change in jobs for my partner, we decided to pursue one particular opportunity with all the planning, praying, hoping, and uprooting that that comes with a major life decision. When following a call there is an element of having to fully invest ourselves and believe that this is the path we’re meant to be on. Even though there are no guarantees and nothing is certain, we needed to begin living into a new reality and when that trajectory came to an abrupt halt last week, there began another phase of disorientation and reorientation. This vocational change of direction has felt remarkably similar to our fertility disappointments – the shock and bewilderment, the constant reminders at every turn of what is not, and the trust that is required as you stare into an unknown future. There is grief, there is a propensity toward panic… and there is also curiosity about what comes next. What adventure awaits? What will we learn? What sights will we see on this “detour,” the path we would not have taken otherwise? Following a calling, whether in ministry or motherhood, is risky and requires a large dose of courage. But we are learning that one of the payoffs of these Spirit-attuned risks is fewer regrets and a greater ability to trust the process even when the answer is ‘no’ or we are directed down a path we could not have foreseen. When we are listening to and respecting where our spirits are leading, we tend to find ourselves on the path we need to be on. In the pursuit of that which you desire, expect to hear more NOs than YESes.
When you expect NOs from a place of commitment to your YES, NOs along the way have zero power over you. -Rosanne Austin, From Maybe to Baby Fertility Coach -
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