12/1/2019 0 Comments First AdventThis is my fourth Advent on this fertility journey and I am so, so grateful for the quiet waiting of Advent, a seasonal alternative to the happy, clappy, sometimes sappy festivities that this time of year brings. As I enter this season during my own time of active waiting, I am resonating with the slower, darker days of Advent. This is a time of uncertainty and hoping without knowing. I love that Advent creates space for Mystery because there are simply things I cannot yet know or will not know in life, or on the fertility journey. There are times when it is tempting to give in to the despair of not knowing, but when I surrender my need to know and control, I find it imbued with hope. I love how author, teacher and Franciscan priest, Fr. Richard Rohr, stated it in his daily meditation for today,
Scriptures do not offer rational certitude. They offer us something much better, an entirely different way of knowing: an intimate relationship, a dark journey, a path where we must discover for ourselves that grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness are absolutely necessary for survival in an uncertain world. You only need enough clarity to know how to live without certitude! There is a grace to not knowing, where certainty and ultimate responsibility for outcomes are out of my hands and all I can do is wait, and hope, and trust. In this Advent time I have the opportunity to practice a different way of seeing that doesn't rely on certainty. Rohr calls it, "seeing in the dark," and writes, "We can't be certain of what's in front of us, but with some time and patience, our eyes adjust, and we can make the next right move."
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