7/20/2019 0 Comments TalentsI've been thinking a lot about action and contemplation lately, two aspects of the spiritual life that are essential and complimentary - rather than contradictory - components of healthy spirituality. I will confess that I'm much more comfortable with contemplation than I am with action. Sitting in silence is much more my speed than being out there in the world. Nature and nurture have both supported the idea that being a good girl and a good Christian often means being passive, something that I've happily internalized as it usually keeps me comfortable. In comes the parable of the talents (Matthew 25.14-30). This story has come to my awareness quite often lately and I think the Spirit is using it as the kick-in-the-pants that I've needed. The parable of the talents has never been a story that I've particularly liked, probably because I can identify with the servant who takes their master's money and buries it in a hole for safe keeping. That doesn't sound like a bad plan to me at all. But what I've been reflecting on and sense I'm being invited to in this season of my life is to stop playing safe or playing small with what God has given me, particularly in terms of my gifts and callings to both motherhood and ministry. What I've been learning is that it isn't selfish to unapologetically be who I am or to use my gifts; it's actually good stewardship! I've been exploring my limiting beliefs over the past few months and challenging those internalized voices that say, "I can't...", "I don't have enough time or money...", "I'm not allowed...", or "I'm not ___ enough." I recognize that at the core of all of these limiting beliefs is fear. Fear is a totally legit emotion but it is not a good place to hunker down. The third servant allowed fear to dictate their actions and they ended up losing their very self in the process. The invitation that I am hearing in the parable of the talents isn't to deny my fear but rather to work through it so that I can step into my power, to be who I have been created and called to be and to offer to this world what I can bring. I don't think this means that I have to do the biggest, boldest, scariest thing I can think of in order to impress others or prove myself to God, but rather to take the talents I've been given and use them well. In contemplation - through prayer and spiritual practices - I listen, identify what has been gifted to me, and hear the invitation. Faithful action is the living out of these things. Since passive receptivity is my comfort zone, I'm experimenting with being a little more active these days in the pursuit of more action/contemplation balance. I am taking steps toward becoming a fertility coach; this is a passion and something that brings together various facets of my calling to ministry such as tending to those who've experienced reproductive loss and walking alongside others on their life's journey. I'm not entirely sure what fertility coaching will look like in the bigger picture, but I know that all I need to do now is be faithful to the next step and dive into the training. And when it's time to start my next treatment cycle, I want to do so with a new conviction that being a mom isn't just a "nice to have" if it happens but is something that I will continue to work toward. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
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