9/9/2019 0 Comments TurningMy favourite season is the transition between seasons. I love the hopeful signs of new life that emerge as the weather warms to spring. I love the carefree energy of long summer days. I love the cool and crisp autumn air that signals the changing season. And I love the invitation to hunker down with the first snowfall of winter. I am grateful to live in a place with four distinct seasons that orient me and help me mark the cyclical year.
In these days when our continent begins tilting away from the sun, signaling the final days of summer and the beginning of fall, my body has begun a transition as well. After a medically-induced menopause to treat endometriosis, my cycle has finally resumed. It has been long awaited, coming three months after it was initially expected to return and after the ovarian suppression surpassed the doctor's expectations, my body needed a bit of a boost in the form of birth control to get going again. Never is a period so anticipated as when it is required in order to start the next fertility treatment cycle. The Lupron Depot injection used to treat endometriosis is a harrowing medical treatment, wiping out my hormones and plunging my body into a menopausal state in short order. There are ample "survivor" stories of those who have been through this treatment. While it took a lot out of me to manage constantly changing side-effects over the better part of this year, I count myself as one of the lucky ones. Both my partner and I had absolute peace about the decision to move forward with this treatment (a treatment that early on in my journey I swore I would never do if it came to it). The rather pricey $1250 injection was fully covered by my insurance and a patient support program. My doctor and naturopath prepared me well, my moon circle blessed my medication, and my grounding practices served me for the duration. My naturopath explained that without my hormones to ground me, my energy would start wildly flying upward (which is what a hot flash is) so she suggested eating grounding foods (think root vegetables and healthy fats) and engaging in grounding practices, even literally sitting on the ground. When symptoms of nausea, breast achiness, hot flashes, and night sweats began to emerge, I would take it as a cue to breathe, go for a walk, practice yoga, or meditate. A couple of times when the side-effects were getting the better of me, acupuncture was immediately helpful. Since stress is a huge trigger for menopausal symptoms - along with sugar, alcohol and caffeine - I had instant feedback that would tell me I wasn't rooted in myself, my foundation or the present moment. It was a good practice in letting go of what I could not control while taking responsibility for my response. It was a good practice in bringing me back again and again and again. While it often didn't seem like much was happening on the fertility journey over the last eight months, I feel as though it has been an important time of healing, rest, and preparation. I have had an opportunity to expand my circle of support, strengthen my grounding practices, and pursue other interests to keep me balanced. I know I've said this before but it feels so true again: this journey of infertility has given me the opportunity to do more than I could have possibly imagined and discover that I am stronger that I ever knew. As summer warmth gives way to autumn colour, I am opening to this change, this turning, and ready to receive whatever this next season may hold.
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